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Arranged Marriage is not Married at First Sight

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The show’s premise: A bunch of single people take a personality test, then let experts match them up with life partners based on their results. The twist: Contestants must marry the person they get matched with, sight unseen. The challenge: the newlyweds move in together for one month, then decide whether they want to stay married or get divorced.

(The) Indian marriage system is not ‘marriage at first sight,’” Sarojini Sahoo, a professor who has penned numerous books and blogs about feminist ideals in India, wrote to Fusion an email.

Sahoo says there are several factors a family or matchmaker would consider before arranging a typical marriage. Physical appearance, castes, matching horoscopes (“at least 60 percent match is necessary”), and agreement on dowry are among the more important considerations, Sahoo says.

But none of that happens on “Married at First Sight.” The only addition to the personality test (or rather, the personality SAT—one contestant said it took her 6 hours to fill out), is a few cursory questions about the physical attributes contestants look for in a mate. The show claims it relies on science and data to create perfect couples; issues like appearance (or your zodiac sign) shouldn’t be important when someone is a match for you on a deeper level, their expert matchmakers claim.

On “Married at First Sight,” couples aren’t allowed to meet, see photos of one another, or even learn the name of their intended spouse before they’re literally walking down the aisle.

Married at first sight failed 3 couples

Arranged is

Maria and Christian from Queens, New York were first to be featured. They are Gypsies who were matched by their parents. The couple is young, and bride Maria will be moving in with Christian’s family. Christian and Maria have never been alone together. Christian’s mom said that she’ll mold Maria to follow her methods. Like we’ve seen on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, Christian’s mom expects Maria to follow her model of cooking and cleaning.

Romani is learned are homeschooled. There may be conflicts between Romani  values, especially for those who receive more schooling. The prime loyalty is to the family: Roma may consider other nationalities to be insufficiently family-oriented. Training in skills begins quite early, and children help their parents in whatever is the family occupation, be it dancing, carpentry, or something else. Girls become skilled at household tasks and may have experience with other kinds of work by the time they marry in their mid-teens. They also learn modestly deferent deportment.

Marriage. Rom (man) and romni (woman) also mean “husband” and “wife.” Roma avoid ceremonies and have their own interesting wedding ceremonies.  These ceremonies are different from traditional wedding ritual and they use Gypsy custom.  The bride and groom arrive separately at the church; after they have been “crowned,” they travel together to the reception. There they kneel, holding icons while elders bless them with bread and salt. In some weddings, a procession circles the bride, who carries a staff. Dancing and singing are as important as tables bending under the weight of the food. After it is established that the bride is a virgin, guests don red armbands. (In some weddings the sheet is shown.) Guests offer gifts of money to the couple, placing the bills in a carved-out loaf of bread or announcing the amount with words such as, “from me a little, from God much more.”Marriages are customarily arranged by the parents, with the matchmaking usually initiated by the parents of the groom. Many couples marry in their mid-teens. Unmarried young men and women are not allowed to socialize alone together, as great value is placed on female chastity.

Domestic Unit. Young marrieds live with the parents of the husband. The bride is called bori, which means “one that my vitsa has acquired through marriage.” The bori takes on most household tasks, giving up all outside activities for some time. For a couple to have only one or two children is rare; usually there are three or four. It is obligatory to live a year or two with the parents, at least before the first child is born. This pattern is reinforced by the urban housing shortage. Among rural and nomadic groups, extended families may stay together, living in adjoining houses. Among drovers, herdsmen travel together on seasonal cattle drives, whereas the women continue their chores in the home area.

Men command deference from women and are served by them in the home. Women may be considered potentially unclean ( marime ); in the past a woman had to take care not to brush the man accidentally with her skirts, which could pollute him. This was, however, also a source of female power, for a woman could avenge herself on a man by lifting her skirts before or over him. This could lead to his ostracization for up to a year. Although men make many family decisions and only male elders can judge in the kris (court), women are respected for their skill at bringing in daily provisions. The physical deference of women and the separation of the sexes does not always mean that women are silent, especially once they become elders in their own household.

FYI showed many American their Rom weddings.

 

source:  http://www.everyculture.com/Russia-Eurasia-China/Gypsies-Marriage-and-Family.html